Wednesday, April 9, 2008

A whole new Autumn.

I fucking hate drama. Dramadramadramadrama no. Screw you people who think that life revolves around being miserable and fucking everyone over (literally, even). Either get over yourselves, or go die in a cave.

I recently came up with a new invention that will totally better the world... It's a dumbass tazer. Okokok, so, hypothetically, you're talking to someone and about five minutes into the convo you realize "ohmygod this guy's a fucking idiot," whaddaya do? You reach into your trusty magical pocket (if you don't have an item of clothing that you think may have magical powers (for me it's a pair of very, very comfy, plaid lounge pants), get one), and pull out your amazing new (not improved) dumbass tazer. You then proceed to choose the I.Q. level you wish said dumbass to reach, and shock the flying hell out of them 'til the tazer gives the "done" ding (like a microwave, but cooler). Pretty kick-a huh? I solved one of the world's greatest problems in a matter of two minutes and eight seconds.

So... When I grow up, I'm going to be a baker. Yup. I'm going to own my own bakery (slash) coffee shop, where I'll bake cakes (including for special occasions such as bachelor and bachelorette parties... tee hee) and make coffee and I'll live in Austin or NYC or San Fran. It's gunna kick so much ass and I totally can't wait... All I have to do is make it through high school alive... Oh boy...

I hate high school. It's boring and dramatic and t-t-totally cramping my style. I'm not one for restrictions. I don't like to be held back, or to be told that I can't access something from the school's lame-ass servers because some other dipshit did something stupid to get it taken away from the whole goddamn student body. LAME! My idea of world history or geography is actually going to the places in the books to see what it's really like. For english, let's go to a book reading or comedy club. Fine arts... Ok, I could live with being in band all damn day without switching classes. Band is amazing and a half, and being in a big room with a bunch of people you truly love just makes it even better. Umm... For Math... Fuckit. For science, we could go to Six Flags or a Nascar race (eewww... I'd take Six Flags over Nascar any day) to study physics, take a walk through some of the rainforest for nature and biology, and go watch a heart transplant for anatomy and physiology. Piece o' cake...

Well, I guess you've suffered enough for one day. Don't get your hopes up though, because I'll be back very soon with a whole new set of stuff to rant about.

Peace bitches.

Here, have some tunes...